Let Your Children Go

We are very focused on our children, and when they are little, our life seems to revolve around them. But as they grow, we need to foster their independence and let them make some decisions themselves. We want to let them know that we are there to support them, but let them spread their wings. And once they reach a certain age, we really want to support them emotionally but encourage them to live their own lives.

Don’t live your life through them – this places too much pressure on them and on you. I see lots of parents who seem to live for their kids’ accomplishments – the first thing they talk about is what their kids have done. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if the child is interested in the activity or sport, or whether it’s the parent that is most interested. I hear about parents writing college application essays for their kids or reviewing their kid’s schoolwork in high school or college. By keeping them too close as they grow up, we risk keeping them from starting their own lives, taking their own chances, learning from their mistakes, and doing what they want.