Apologize

No one is perfect and we all do things that we should not do. Don’t beat yourself up for it or take it out on others by getting angry. Make it right!! You may just need to apologize, or you may need to do something (like replace something that you broke) to make it right. Don’t put it off because it makes you uncomfortable – once you get in the habit of apologizing for a mistake, it’s not hard.

Remember, apologies are free!! They will make you feel better too. One day I was really angry about a mistake that my hospital’s billing office had made. It’s funny – it seemed so important at the time, but now I can’t even remember what it was about!! Anyway, I was really rude to the woman who worked for the hospital – she wasn’t able to help me or give me an immediate response and I was fed up! After we ended the conversation, I felt really bad…after all, she was just an employee and she didn’t make the rules, and I could have made my point without getting rude. I tried to forget it, but I felt bad all day long. Finally, I called her back in the afternoon and apologized – she was very gracious and I felt so much better!

You can be sorry for your own behavior without condoning the other person’s behavior or even their point of view. This is important, so let me repeat it…. You can be sorry for your own behavior without condoning the other person’s behavior or even their point of view.

Let’s say you get into an argument with someone. You feel you are “right” but you lose your temper and say some ugly things. You can apologize (genuinely) for the ugly things you said without giving in on the issue you were discussing.

Also, if you upset someone, you can tell them you are sorry you upset them (and mean it) – even if they hurt you too. Most of us don’t go around intending to hurt others, and it’s not a sign of weakness to feel bad and apologize when we do hurt someone else.

And don’t play the game of waiting for them to apologize first…life is short and relationships are precious…what difference does it make who apologizes first? REMEMBER: apologizing isn’t saying that they are good and you are bad, or they are right and you are wrong (unless you were wrong, if so then “man up” and apologize for that as well!!).

And try not to get mad if you apologize and they don’t (and you feel they should). Just feel good about your behavior and move on.